ยป Patience Is a Virtue (Also: Hate)
The Catholic Church has agreed to re-accept disaffected Anglicans 475 years after the church split for political reasons.
This sudden spasm of ecumenical love is in response to thousands of conservative Anglicans looking for a church that is more in keeping with the traditions they grew up with, two simple rules that the Catholic Church still fully endorses but which the Anglicans have let fall by the wayside:
- No broads.
- No fags.
Sounds manly!
The best description of the Christian faith I’ve heard recently is that it’s a millennia-long game of telephone: “Love everyone!”, whisper whisper whisper whisper whisper, “God hates fags!”
This is the first time since the 16th century that the doors to communion with Rome have been opened to Protestant congregations — so act on this once-in-five-centuries offer now, before it’s too late!
This opens a convenient loophole for Catholic priests who want to get married: convert to Anglicanism, get ordained, get married, convert your flock to Catholicism, and The See will let the marriage stand. Which, basically, means that St. Peter’s Church isn’t against married priests per se, just against Catholic priests marrying — which smacks of “I couldn’t, so why would I let you?”
Of course, there is a pay cut to worry about: Vicars make about ten times what the average Father does. If you got into Anglicanism for both a love of money and a hatred of fags it looks like you have some soul searching to do.
Yeah, Catholic rules are great. Both being episcopalian, married Anglican priests can convert to Catholicism and become Catholic priests (and remain married) without being re-ordained.
Similarly, if my wife and I, as non-Catholics and non-spiritualists, who hypocritically got married in a United church, converted to Catholicism, our marriage would be recognized as valid and as always having been valid. However, the marriage of my Catholic friend, who married a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony, cannot be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church, even though she and I each got married in a non-Catholic ceremony.
She talked about this with a priest ahead of time, about how to make her pending non-Catholic marriage kosher. She was told that she could grovel in some formal way after the fact and state that she regretted having a non-Catholic wedding. The priest basically did a wink-wink-nudge-nudge, implying that she should just do what the church told her not to, then ask for forgiveness afterwards. Luckily, this hypocrisy seems to have turned her off the church.
Don
20 Oct 09 at 8:21 pm