So I retook the OkCupid test, again, and while still answering truthfully I got a different result.

This is probably cheating but it’s a dating site, not science.

What I did was instead of delivering a normal, healthy set of answers — a best case — I answered as though all my bullshit jealousy, trust, and codependency issues from a childhood spent watching nothing but Disney movies would eventually boil over, as they inevitably do.

“No, actually, if she flirted with someone I would punch him.”

Got a way better result. OkCupid is weird.