Comments on: Marriages are Machines for Producing Relationship Products http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products Committees exist to share blame. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:11:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Jack http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71818 Jack Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:14:45 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71818 @Stewart: Your assumption is incorrect :) @Stewart: Your assumption is incorrect :)

]]> By: stewart http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71817 stewart Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:05:14 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71817 as I think I am the only one in any kind of serious relationship that reads this blog, marriage and relationships are about holding hands and walking into the future, alternately negotiating life decisions into comprise positions and doing stuff together. there is also something pretty nice about sleeping with another person on a daily basis; sexually or otherwise. as I think I am the only one in any kind of serious relationship that reads this blog, marriage and relationships are about holding hands and walking into the future, alternately negotiating life decisions into comprise positions and doing stuff together.

there is also something pretty nice about sleeping with another person on a daily basis; sexually or otherwise.

]]> By: Jared http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71743 Jared Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:46:43 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71743 @Don: The narrative analysis is wonderful! I'm not as sharp on narratives as I'd like to be. I'm going to have to think about this more... @Don: The narrative analysis is wonderful! I’m not as sharp on narratives as I’d like to be. I’m going to have to think about this more…

]]> By: Don http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71728 Don Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:20:25 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71728 I think I agree with your "relationship products" model. After reading your post, I wondered what women actually <I>do</i> get out of marriage, so I asked a married woman. Apparently, she gets: <UL> <LI>A situation that makes it more difficult and complicated for her husband to leave, and so he would hopefully be less likely to leave. So, call this <B>increased long-term relationship security</B>, which is a desirable thing if you want a permanent relationship.</LI> <LI><B>Companionship</B>. See Jared's post, above.</LI> <LI><B>Financial security</B>, especially since men tend to earn more than women.</LI> <LI>An good situation for <B>procreation</B>, should that arise.</LI> <LI>Someone to <B>do things with</B>. If this means a yearly vacation, then this isn't particularly in favour of marriage over other relationships. If it means more daily, mundane tasks, then I think it is: see my "post-modern" comment, above.</LI> </UL> I think I agree with your “relationship products” model.

After reading your post, I wondered what women actually do get out of marriage, so I asked a married woman. Apparently, she gets:

  • A situation that makes it more difficult and complicated for her husband to leave, and so he would hopefully be less likely to leave. So, call this increased long-term relationship security, which is a desirable thing if you want a permanent relationship.
  • Companionship. See Jared’s post, above.
  • Financial security, especially since men tend to earn more than women.
  • An good situation for procreation, should that arise.
  • Someone to do things with. If this means a yearly vacation, then this isn’t particularly in favour of marriage over other relationships. If it means more daily, mundane tasks, then I think it is: see my “post-modern” comment, above.
]]> By: Jack http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71727 Jack Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:17:08 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71727 <em>Bus-ted!</em> Bus-ted!

]]> By: Don http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71726 Don Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:06:07 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71726 <blockquote>I mean no disrespect to married ladies, but: Damn the flirting is a bit much.</blockquote> That is clearly bragging-by-complaining. "Why do women find me irresistible? I can't get any work done, for all the constant sexual comments they send my way..."

I mean no disrespect to married ladies, but: Damn the flirting is a bit much.

That is clearly bragging-by-complaining. “Why do women find me irresistible? I can’t get any work done, for all the constant sexual comments they send my way…”

]]> By: Jack http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71724 Jack Tue, 18 Aug 2009 20:58:14 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71724 I mean no disrespect to married ladies, but: <em>Damn</em> the flirting is a bit much. I know it's totally safe for you to engage in random flirtation now, but career advice of the form "hey Jack, why don't you just whore your body out?" is a bit much... Awwww, who am I kidding. I loves it. I just need to build a client list. I mean no disrespect to married ladies, but: Damn the flirting is a bit much.

I know it’s totally safe for you to engage in random flirtation now, but career advice of the form “hey Jack, why don’t you just whore your body out?” is a bit much…

Awwww, who am I kidding. I loves it. I just need to build a client list.

]]> By: Don http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71723 Don Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:00:40 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71723 <blockquote>the real point of marriage is to find an Other to trip on pairbonding chemicals with</blockquote> A post-modernist explanation I've heard is that marriage is about having someone with whom you share / co-experience your narrative. Relatedly, someone who actually cares about the minutiae of your life.

the real point of marriage is to find an Other to trip on pairbonding chemicals with

A post-modernist explanation I’ve heard is that marriage is about having someone with whom you share / co-experience your narrative. Relatedly, someone who actually cares about the minutiae of your life.

]]> By: Jack http://mentalpolyphonics.com/posts/marriages-are-machines-for-producing-relationship-products/comment-page-1#comment-71720 Jack Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:04:08 +0000 http://mentalpolyphonics.com/?p=4695#comment-71720 Last night MSNBC had a piece about how people are getting into relationships so there's someone to split the bills with. I guess their thesis was of the "recession-motivated consumption partnership" flavor. My recent thinking on marriage has largely been [deletia] offensive, so I'll keep it to myself. It seems like the real point of marriage is to find an Other to trip on pairbonding chemicals with. Everything else is Walt Disney and codependency. Thinking about this stuff makes it far more boring and inane than doing it though, so whatever: The dominant strategy, as always, is unconsciousness. Last night MSNBC had a piece about how people are getting into relationships so there’s someone to split the bills with. I guess their thesis was of the “recession-motivated consumption partnership” flavor.

My recent thinking on marriage has largely been [deletia] offensive, so I’ll keep it to myself. It seems like the real point of marriage is to find an Other to trip on pairbonding chemicals with. Everything else is Walt Disney and codependency.

Thinking about this stuff makes it far more boring and inane than doing it though, so whatever: The dominant strategy, as always, is unconsciousness.

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