As part of a secret project I’m working on I’ve finagled an invitation to a private forum. I’m going to be very oblique because I don’t want to publicize it at all. Publicizing the forum may result in a Russian-Mob-style ban.

First, a word on The Ban. The rules say the rules must be obeyed, and prescribe three punishments:

1. A single warning. Appeal is available, but a denied appeal is a light transgression.
2. For light transgressions (flaming, etc), loss of access for a time up to six months determined by a moderator at their sole discretion with no appeal. A second light transgression is a serious transgression.
3. For serious transgressions, The Ban. The transgressor is banned from the site with no appeal, as is the person who invited them, as are all of the people they’ve invited.

Basically there are two punishments: death, and the death of you and your loved ones. That said, here are some of the more interesting forum rules, rephrased for anonymity (there are lots more):

• Avatars must be pictures of food, or something cute. “Hot chicks” don’t count.
• No flaming, swearing, or bigotry or intolerance of any kind. Users should be kind and courteous to others at all times.
• No posting of NSFW material.
• No responding with abbreviated catch phrases or emoticons (“LOL, WTF — RTFM! “).
• No /b/ or *chan stupidity. Period. Keep it to the *chans.
• Please post using correct punctuation, grammar, spelling, and without overusing emoticons. No large images. When replying, quote only the relevant text and no images.
• Absolutely no discussion of illicit drug pricing, transactions, or production.
• Discussion of recreational, moderated, and safe drug use is encouraged.
• No language other than English.

So basically: Kindergarten rules, plus recreational drug use, plus fascist enforcement. The idea is to create incredibly high signal-to-noise through rigid rules and nuclear bans. It’s like an online gated community with armed guards.

The avoidance of anything remotely controversial (I’m surprised religious and political discussions aren’t disallowed, but they might be deemed bigotry) and the insistence on civil discussion theoretically serve to keep content high-quality.

We shall see. I’m kinda looking to get in, get what I need, and get out. Should be fun though.