MentalPolyphonics
Where have all the plumbers gone?
One thing that was sad was people emphasizing...September 14, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I have an interview balls-early tomorrow.
I’ve been going to pieces over it, apparently. No one told me until just now, but looking back over the weekend it’s pretty clear: Bits of me keep falling apart. I’ve been getting snippier, angrier, more prone to hellishly-intense introspective nightmares.
Now that I know we ENFPs are bad at maintenance-type activities I’m using that little Jungian nugget to crutch around my life like a crippled housekeeper.
“You used too much soap in the washing machine!”
“Yeah, well I’m an ENFP and the machine is poorly designed.”“You didn’t load the dishwasher!”
“Sorry, I’m an ENFP. I got distracted doing something, you know, interesting.”
Just now, when it’s too late, the family said, “rather than going to pieces why didn’t you ask for our help?”
That was a stumper. The best I could come up with was:
“Look, I’ve never interviewed for this type of job before. I just want to go in with a crisp white French cuff, tie a Windsor knot, and focus on being charming*.”
“Being charming?” they said, “You sound like a con artist. Any idiot can tie a Windsor knot, just focus on answering the interviewer’s questions. You didn’t worry about charm when applying at EA.”
“Well, that’s because I know how to charm engineers! You just use lots of big words, talk fast, and tell jokes. This new job is about selling things to rich people. I have no idea how they want me to interview. I’m handsome and intelligent and I know the industry, okay, but I don’t know the standard lies. I don’t know how much truth I should tell. I’m firing blind.”
“You sound insane.” The family followed-on, “just act like a human being.”
Which was, essentially, my exact point: how do I do that?
Anyway, wish me good hunting. This time I think I’ll need it.
* I got this tip from a very happy, semi-pro beach volleyball banker: “When you’re upset, dress well.” It works.
Jack
Wow, that Gentle Christian Mothers site I linked is hilarious. I’ve never read a ladies’ forum before, not one where they keep their clothes on. The cheerful pink sparkling ladybugness of it is a side of the internet I’ve not seen, though the prayers are a tad disturbing. “Lord, make my hands sure, my lips quiet [!], and my heart Yours. Amen.”
“DH” is “Dear Husband”, they say it so much they need an abbrev. It makes him-them interchangeable, like the specific husband doesn’t matter, only the fact that you have one. I find myself subconsciously assuming they’re all talking about the same man, some weird gestalt: the Gentle Christian Husband who wants the house cleaned and dinner ready by six, who is never disappointed in his ENFP wifey despite her constant insecurity.
Jesus, basically. Or Ricky Ricardo.
The gentle homeschoolin’ ladies suggest Organizing for the Creative Person. I’ll have to check it out.
Jack
Man that book sucks. I like the idea though, it hinted where I should be looking in the self help section (GTD doesn’t work for me).
Oh wait: The 48 Laws of Power! Of course! Never mind, y’all — I’m covered. I got this.
Jack
I haven’t been awake this early in ages, and not anywhere that has cable: HOLY SHIT CBC KIDS PROGRAMMING SUX.
The Hilarious House of Frightenstein | MentalPolyphonics
on September 17, 2009 at 12:31 am
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