Woody Allen Woody-Allens his way all over this one.

Neurotic filmmaker too difficult for Hollywood to work with gets one last shot at making a feature when he takes a ridiculous compensation package in order to get out of filming deodorant commercials in Canada.

He goes psychosomatically blind just before principal fotos and stays blind through editing and sound until release. The movie bombs in America but, spoiler alert, he takes the opportunity to reunite with his estranged punk rocker son and the French end up loving the picture, calling it “the greatest American film in 50 years.”

He gets back together with his second wife and takes a job making love stories set in Paris.

I’m a giant Woody Allen fan — giant — but this one didn’t work for me, it’s too disjointed. The son is introduced deus ex and as a result the blind filmmaker metaphor isn’t milked for anything except slapstick.

[Quick update: Oh, and the tracking shot of the 7-Up can is super cheesy. Téa Leoni drinks it -- yeah, right, with her body I'm sure she's all up in those soft drinks -- but at least Allen just holds the thing. My theories on product placement tread that madgeniusery-nuthouse partition, but I won't bore you with them until I get paid to do one. The game is to be sold, not to be told.]