ยป Gender and Friendship
Many people prefer their friends to be of a particular gender. Heterosexual cisgendered people tend to be homosocial.
The genders in a relationship define the characteristics of that friendship. Man-man homosocial friendships are typically characterized by activities. Woman-woman homosocial friendships are typically characterized by talking. Both of these friendships have distinct psychological benefits.
It turns out that man-woman heterosocial friendships are much more like woman-woman friendships than man-man friendships. As a result, men who make friends with women benefit disproportionately (because women already have lots of woman friends).
I’m a strongly gynosocial man. I have some good friends that are men, but I have trouble building and maintaining acquaintanceships. I’d like to think I’m gynosocial because I like talking more than doing, but maybe I’m just using chicks for the emotional intimacy? 
I have some thoughts about this if you are interested in exploring it further.
Karen
18 Aug 09 at 8:12 pm
As a guy with a very close girl relationship, I can totally agree. It is totally based on talking rather than doing.
Most people say that guys will not be friends with girls unless they want to sleep with them in some way. Regardless of my first paragraph I agree that that there usually is someone that wants to screw the other in hetero man-women relationships or at least that is where it starts. My girl ‘friend’ isn’t someone that I want to have sex with. I don’t find her physically attractive, but I do find her emotionally attractive. This is why we have a great talking relationship. I know that the women that read this blog will find that statement chauvinistic, but that is where our relationship has come from. I was dating her best friend in high school and we have remained friends since. In fact, we are the the closest from that clique that we where running in back in high school.
Karen, please post.
Fred
18 Aug 09 at 9:48 pm
I have had some very close male friendships, that were centered around talking and I also have some male friendships that are centered around activities. I am closer to the talkers than the activity partners. I feel that I have been used by some of my male friends for the emotional intimacy. They dropped the friendship as soon as they found a serious girlfriend. This has hurt me more than boyfriends dumping me, because I often expect boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to end and when friendships end, they always comes as a surprise. If my male friends stop talking to me, I feel like the relationship is fading. Activity partners are friends but I don’t really count them as so, because I won’t share with them my thoughts and feelings. It is just a surface friendship.
Karen
18 Aug 09 at 10:06 pm
@ karen, I will say that the relationship I have with my very close girl friend does ebb and flow with our significant other in our lives. As a male, the relation ship I have may be filling a need I have for an emotional connection which would get replaced by someone I am dating. The question is, do they come back after breaking up with the girl. You also may have to wonder if they are only there because there are hoping that the relationship will turn into more. Someone that is in it for the relationship would come back after the initial lust wore off, or they broke up. Think of your girl friends, they probably do the same thing when they find a boy.
Fred
18 Aug 09 at 10:27 pm