A new season of Celebrity Rehab is out! I had no idea because I don’t watch commercials.

About a month ago I broke my (very well-designed) favorite pipe such that it’s still possible, but inconvenient, to use — though not inconvenient enough for me to replace or fix. I love my drug paraphernalia as much as the next guy, but usually when it’s out I’m too high to do anything maintenance-wise.

Just before firing up 2×01 I did a couple of hits holding the broken glass and burned my fingers. Now I’m off to watch rehab TV after burning my hands on a broken glass drug pipe.

Bring on the celebrities, my fellow wastrels.